🔍 Step 1: Basic Self-Check
Ask yourself the following:
Do you have thumbs and use them to scroll through this page?
→ You might be a human.Did you bark at the mail carrier within the last 10 minutes?
→ Chances are, you're a dog.Did you walk across a keyboard and accidentally open 17 browser tabs?
→ That’s a classic cat move.
🍽️ Step 2: Dietary Habits
Do you prefer coffee and regret?
→ Human.Do you eat the same food every day and act like it's the best meal of your life?
→ Dog.Do you turn your nose up at a full bowl unless it’s exactly 2 minutes fresh?
→ Cat.
🧠 Step 3: Behavioral Clues
Behavior | Likely Species |
Paying bills and worrying about taxes | Human |
Zoomies at 3AM for no reason | Cat or Dog (lean cat if furniture is involved) |
Unconditional love for everyone you meet | Dog |
Unconditional love only on your terms | Cat |
Googling “Am I a cat?” | Definitely Human (or a very advanced dog) |
🎯 Bonus: Test Yourself!
Place a box on the floor.
Place a box on the floor.
Did you sit in it? → You’re probably a cat.
Say “Who’s a good boy?!”
Say “Who’s a good boy?!”
Did you get excited? → That’s some dog energy right there.
Check your pockets.
Check your pockets.
Do you have keys, phone, and existential dread? → That’s a solid human trifecta.
❓ Still Unsure?
If you still don’t know what species you are, try taking a nap in the sun and see what feels right. If someone brings you a snack during your nap, congratulations—you’re probably a pet.
Can't figure it out? Reach out!
Need more help?
Reach out to our Species Identity Support Team (a.k.a. a mirror, a friend, or your vet).
Stay pawsitive! 🐾